One of my greatest loves has always been music, for so many reasons.
There’s that initial joy of a rhythm, melody or beat that just runs through you and makes you want to move, fills you with joy, or puts you at ease, and calms you into a lazy afternoon.
It’s incredibly powerful, and can unite people that have nothing more than a song in common, and share a message that can reach people that wouldn’t ordinarily listen.
It not only generates an endless list of feelings and emotions, but it’s a list that is personal to everyone, one song can mean something different to every person in a crowded room.
But my favourite thing is that every song is a story, stories that we can all relate to. They are that break up that we feel we’ll never get over, all those magical feelings of love, or just that really great night out.
Even with those songs that seem like random words put to a beat, because they’re also the stories we create through the songs as they become attached to memories or places, people, or even a whole time point in our lives.
My most favourite lyric comes from the great Fugees,
I felt he found my letters and read each one out loud.
Because to me that is music.
It’s with this I want to start a little feature in where I, and hopefully others I can rope in will tell us their story attached to a song of their choice.
I’m going to start with my new current obsession. Khalid – Saved.
I started listening to this song as I played through khalids album, which by the way is amazing and feels like a whole nostalgic road trip through your teenage years.
It’s the most beautiful song he wrote about a relationship that ended when he moved away, so Spotify tells me.
The lyrics talk so lovingly about missing the relationship, but it’s the chorus that really got me..
But I’ll keep your number saved
‘Cause I hope one day you’ll get the sense to call me
I’m hoping that you’ll say
You’re missing me the way I’m missing you
So I’ll keep your number saved
‘Cause I hope one day I’ll get the pride to call you
To tell you that no one else
Is gonna hold you down the way that I do
As I listened I smiled.
I smiled and thought of that number I still have saved in my phone, and all of the reasons why.
They’re not that one great love, and it wasn’t a long lived romance, or someone from years past.
It’s the number of someone I had one date with probably a year or so ago, but did talk to for a little while.
We met via a dating app and at first I wasn’t really about it. He lived really far away and I just didn’t think there was much point, but he kinda persisted.
From the very beginning he just made me laugh, and he had this way of making me talk about everything, every insecurity and issue I had, and he just never seemed phased or bothered. It was just so weird to me.
We finally arranged a date and although I was looking forward to it I didn’t really know what to expect, I was very stuck on the distance, but I can be really superstitious and I didn’t want to look back one day and think what if.
It was hand on heart the best date I have ever had.
He made me feel so at ease, and comfortable, not only in the situation but in myself.
He just instinctively helped me with my drink and because we had spoken, like actually spoken, about all things I had nothing to hide, so nothing to fear, conversation was so easy
For that entire date I just felt like any “normal” girl, even when we did speak about my wheels. It was like talking about my height or my eye colour, it wasn’t something extra or something added, it was just a part of me.
I left confused but happy.
We spoke for a little while after the date.
But it all just kinda stopped.
These things happen I totally get that, I mean we don’t necessarily use dating apps to find friends so if we don’t see someone as a romantic interest anymore it can feel odd continuing a relationship of sorts with them.
As a bit of a serial dater I’m someone that clears my contact list if we don’t speak for a month or so, but I haven’t spoken to him for about a year now but I still have his number saved.
I think it’s because of a couple of things.
I do miss talking to him, just general conversation because he always made me smile.
But I think it’s mostly because of how I felt on that date. I always kinda dwell on that night, and I think the reason I haven’t really found someone since is because I want that again. It’s not me stuck on a person but the way he made me feel.
I think subconsciously by deleting the number I’m letting go of those feelings because I’m scared I won’t find it again because I never believed I’d find it in the first place.
But maybe it’s stopping me from giving people more of a chance. I don’t know yet and I don’t need to.
I like scrolling past his name and being reminded that it can happen, and it might again.
So there it is, my story.
Now tell me yours, comment, tweet, DM me if you want to share.
Love, C x