365 day clothes buying ban, a update

Before I was set to start my clothing ban I thought I’d have a mad buying spree in the Christmas and Boxing Day sales, this wasn’t the case. In fact as I was scrolling through I just kept thinking, buying this is me just buying for the sake of buying. I bought 2 jumpers and a rugby jersey type thing, but that was it.

I must have already been in the none buying mind set.

I expected January to be pretty easy because it’s only 4 weeks in, and who needs clothes in January? No one does anything, and it’s to cold to wear anything but jumpers. And for the most part it was easy, except for this one day.

About half way through the month I tried on the rugby jersey I had bought for the first time because I honestly thought it’d fit fine.

It didn’t.

It fit, just not how I expected and how I wanted it to.

This instantly put me in a bad mood because its something that’s wrapped up in a whole bunch of other thoughts and feelings I have, and that day it just really got to me.

Although I’m not necessarily overly expressive with my fashion choices, and I don’t follow trends and such, clothes help me feel a little bit more “normal” bare with me.

Having such a life changing accident at 16 and trying to jump back into life at 17, I just wanted to grab onto any kind of my normality. I wanted to feel like me still, feel like an average 17 year old, like all my friends, and the one way I thought I could do that was with my clothes.

But things where different now, it wasn’t as easy as just putting on a top, it fit different, it looked different.

It took me a long time to wrestle with all the different feelings of insecurities and frustrations, and through that time of finding the clothes that felt right, I worked through my insecurities and I worked through accepting my disability, and finding the new me.

I’m now comfortable and happy enough that if something doesn’t fit or look right I just take it off and send it back.

But because I was the top was something I had no second thought about, because it should of been fine, it took me right back to that place where my favourite top from before the accident looked ridiculous when I tried it after.

It really had me down for most of the day, all I wanted to do was get rid of the top, along with everything in my wardrobe and buy new stuff. Start afresh, throw away those feelings and new things will make me feel better.

Then I thought no. Yeah, momentarily you might feel better, but you have no problem with your entire wardrobe, just get rid of the one top, feel those feelings for a moment, then remember how far you have come.

By the next day I felt much better, and in a way I’m grateful for this shopping ban, because it allowed me a moment to think through everything instead of looking for a quick fix of gratification.

Still, only 313 days to go!

Love, C x

A Clothes Buying Ban

In May I told myself I was going to clear out my wardrobe, in November I actually did.

The clear out was well over due. I’d hoarded so many things that didn’t fit just right so I’d never wear them. I had far to many of those old super cozy jumpers that were now ten years old and so tatty you’d never leave the house with it on, but you just couldn’t possibly throw it away. As well as a pile of stuff that had needed to go for a good year I just couldn’t be bothered let go.

It was hard, but I was ruthless. I still miss my red jumper. I managed to get two big bags for charity and another that needed to be thrown.

I have to say, as hard as it was I felt almost cleansed afterwards. It was really satisfactory having enough room to hang everything that needed hanging, and enough space to properly organise the piles of tshirst and many, many jumpers I had.

Yet even after such a big clear out I still had a full wardrobe of clothes and it made me think. Here I am with all these clothes and 1. I still wear the same thing over and over, and 2. I still probably spend a good £400 on clothes a year, without much thought. But why? Why am I doing this. It’s such a waste, both in money and in terms of the actual clothes. And honestly I have no real excuse. I’m not hugely into fashion, I’m mostly into warmth, which is why half of my clothes are jumpers. If anything I have a slight love hate relationship with clothes. It can be difficult to dress with the chair. I like things to be a certain way so I feel comfortable, which can often mean things just look off or don’t fit right. I had one incident where I bought a top that had ruffles at the bottom, I looked like a twelve year old wearing their princess fancy dress outfit, not my intend look for afternoon drinks with friends.

So, I thought, that’s it, I’m not going to buy clothes for a whole year. Once decided I told a couple of people, but as packages would arrive every other week still in the run up to Christmas not many people had much faith in me.

I set my goal for 2019, for the whole year I’m not going to buy any clothes, except for a couple of exceptions.

Underwear doesn’t count, I mean that’s a given right?

Because I’m ragged about a lot with my jeans they’re prone to being ripped and over stretched, so I’m allowed to buy new jeans but only to replace a pair if it’s needed.

I don’t have great temperature control and I really feel the cold, so although I have a lot of jumpers, I always wear a long sleeve top or vest, these to can get well worn so I can replace them.

Lastly, if I get a voucher for my birthday, which is in March, I can use that because I don’t want it to go to waste, but realistically it’s only going to be enough for a top.

I quite looking forward to this little challenge, because I feel like no one thinks I can do it, and I do kinda enjoy an I told you so. I’m also doing it to make me properly utilise my wardrobe, mix things up a bit, layer differently, have a little more fun and experimentation with all the stuff I already own. And lastly to save money, spend it on fun things or even just be sensible and pay of my credit card, and hey, maybe even try and cut down on my carbon footprint.

What do you think? Think I can do it? I’ll keep you updated.

Love, C x